Friday, June 1, 2012

FunPusher, where ARE we? It is called....The Dead Zone

How’s it going out there?


Wait. Is this thing on?

(picture me fiddling with some cords, plugs, some whispered cursing...and…after a giant feedback crackle…)

Ok, ok. I get it. I know it’s pretty rude to just drop off the face of the Earth, without so much as a See Ya! 

But, I’ve got a good excuse – honest! Lane Stadium Reseating!! You probably spent some time recently agonizing over the pros and cons of MULTIPLE different reseating options; I know I did. You would have thought Rachael and I were planning a military coup to take over a small country with the amount of planning and contingency-development that was going on. (And you'd have been right! HA! Just kidding...) We were practicing some serious strategery, folks. At the very least, it felt like an NFL team’s draft day war room. Seats were going off the board and we were scrambling to come up with Mel Kiper’s Best Available. But. Well. You know we did. J 

Not that I can tell you where our seats are (HI HOKIE STALKERS!), but we’re pret-ty daggone pleased with them. And, seeing as that’s the place my bootay is going to be parked in Lane Stadium for the foreseeable future, you can see the importance, nay, the gravity of the decision. I just wish we’d gotten pics and bios of the folks sitting near us to factor into our decision. How awesome and informative would THAT have been. Hmmm…let’s see…Joe’s hobbies include back waxing and Extreme Chili Cook-Offs. Errrrrrrr, NEXT!!! Me? I’d have been advertising, trying to get the best folks near me…I’m FunPusher, I like to leave games with no voice left and I always bring an extra airplane bottle – Cheers! 

Oh well. A girl can dream, can’t she?   

But, I digress. I am sorry that we’ve been gone for awhile. Really. It could not be helped. This little FunPusher was going crazy in Good Times overload. (HA! I wish.) The reality is slightly…less sensational. I’ve been working. There. I said it. Working. A lot. And while we got in an awesome tailgate for the Spring Game (that wasn’t), it’s still been pretty much several months’ worth of steady working, with not a lot of Good Times going down. Sad, but true. Have I painted an uber depressing picture for you, yet? Are you tracking here?? Do you FEEL MY PAIN???

OF COURSE YOU DO! Because the same could be said for you – you’ve been working like every other brick in the wall, cog in the machine, idiot at the computer. And you can feel it too, can’t you? That crazy tickling sensation that keeps niggling at the back of your brain…it’s not quite a full-fledged voice yet, but it’s, well, it’s building…the volume and intensity is slowing creeping toward higher decibel territory. You can’t quite make out what it’s saying, but you can feel it, nudging you and urging you toward…something. You’ve got this sense of unrest. 

You know exactly what I’m talking about, don’t you?

I’ll let you in on something – it’s normal! This is what happens to us tailgaters at this time of year. The fever starts to set in. It starts to feel like years have passed since the last game. The last time you saw the inside of Lane Stadium. Or breathed the air that makes you think – undeniably – I’m at VT now. (Yeah, I made a cow pasture reference - I can do that, I'm part of the family.)  *Sigh* I miss it so. But, we are now under 100 days until football is back. It will get better! I mean, not before it gets worse…but, then, you already knew that. (I'm nothing if not honest.) ;-)  

So. What to do…?

Well, obviously the answer is drinking. (I know this great little bar...)

But, FunPusher!? What if you can't spend the next 3 months on a bender? (Who ARE you people anyways?)

Ok, ok. This is what you do. You take it one weekend at a time. Plan some Good Times for at least every other weekend. And go on vacation. Seriously. All this stuff will keep your focus elsewhere and you will forget how badly you were jonesing for some Hokie football.

By the time all's said and done and you get back from your Good Times Adventures – it’ll practically be Labor Day weekend, and we’ll be completely geeking out about playing Georgia Tech to open the season – at home! And then you can get down to the REAL business at hand, what we ALL wish we were doing – planning that first tailgate!

And, given that it’s a night game…oooooh, it’s gonna be a doozy.

I can’t wait.    

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


Carry on.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011


First, I apologize for being a bit MIA lately. This first part of the season has been pretty go-go-go. But, I’m here now.

I’m feeling a bit down (still) after that deflating loss to Clemson last weekend so I got to thinking…how could I pick myself back up again? I immediately started thinking of a similar situation from many years ago, back when Tech was still in the Big East. We’d gone on the road and lost miserably to West-by God-Virginia. The upcoming game - also against Miami - held incredible meaning for the remainder of the season. There were a lot of questions and even more discontent swirling around the program and throughout the Hokie Nation. Would the season improve or simply spiral out of control? And that’s when Will Stewart, over at, wrote the most energizing and motivating column I think I’ve ever read. He called it “Make It Real” and basically it was a plea to the fans to double-down and go all in (to use some gambling metaphors). To come support the team and show how much they still cared. To will those guys to the victory we all needed.

I was pumped and unbelievably psyched just halfway through the column; by the time I’d finished it, I was already attaching it to emails and sending it to other fans. I knew we were going to win an hour before kickoff, watching the fans line up to greet the players during The Walk. Hearing the roar of the crowd that was so loud it reverberated inside my chest. Bottom-line: that column mattered, it ignited the fan base, which in turn helped inspire the team - we throttled Miami in that game.

I know you can’t just recreate that sort of magic whenever you want to, but I’m committing here and now that I’m going to do my part.

I’m going to be there early.

I’m going to have an amazing tailgate and I’m going to get my crew ready to go.

I’m going to cheer even louder on 4th downs than I do on 3rd.

I’m going to lose my voice (again).

And I’m going to get everyone around me to do the same thing.

I may not have quite the audience that Will Stewart has…and that’s ok with me…but I have just as much devotion to my guys and my team. And I can be damn persuasive when I want to be.

I say, let’s go to work, stay focused, stay aggressive, stay hungry. I say let’s make it real, again. I say, let’s make it count.

Let’s go, Hokies – win #5.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

It's Almost Here!!

So. This week was - finally - time to start talking tailgate again!! This little Hokie fan could not be happier! We are just over 2 weeks away from the glory that is Hokie football (& tailgate!!) season. I believe we've squared away our awesome tailgate spot again. Now comes the good stuff - planning the 'gate! I'll be back when we've got some more deets...but until then, Kiddies, just rest assured in the fact that we do not open against a high profile team on the road. No! It's 'no place like home' time for us this season!! I, for one, couldn't be happier! The sooner I get my arse to Blacksburg, the happier I will be. So. With that, I will sign off for now. Be back in a few days with a more detailed off season wrap-up & preview of the upcoming Good Times! Go Hokies!!


Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Next Season

And, in the least surprising news ever category, VT announces that it will kickoff the season at 12:30, September 3rd against Appalachian State. I am shocked, SHOCKED, I tell you!

This is me trying really hard to find the upside, any upside, to this scenario.




More post-game tailgate time???

Ooooohkay. (quit twisting my arm!) 12:30 will be alright then. ;-)

Go Hokies!


Monday, May 2, 2011


Spring Game was absolutely fan-freaking-tastic. Major shout-outs to all the regular tailgate folks who made it for the "event." (Rachael, myself, and April, of course; but also Wendy, Alex, Amanda, Dwayne, Ashley - minus her gambling fiancee', and the Roberts clan - Trey, Tommy, and Peggy!) It was beautiful weather and I know I can speak for y'all here - it was definitely a Good Time!

Just wanted to share a couple of tidbits for the upcoming season, to get the blood pumping and excitement brewing!! Check this out!!

The new audio for the tailgate. Mr. FunPusher really came through for my birthday! A portable PA system, with built-in Ipod dock, complete with a microphone. OH YEAH!!! Can this be more perfect for me???

And! For those post-game dance parties! A Disco Ball! We are all set now, ladies and gents!

Let's go, Hokies!!


Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I Need a Tailgate...STAT!

Well…hello there Hokie fans and fellow tailgaters! Long time, no see! It’s been another long offseason (and it ain’t over yet, bleh), punctuated by yet another snub from the NCAA basketball tournament (always a bridesmaid, never the bride…sniffle). [Sidebar: I would not put it past Greenberg to sue the NCAA next season. Or launch some kind of crackpot conspiracy investigation. Come on, Greenie...I love you, but we all know why we didn't get can't beat #1 and then mail in your last two games like we did! #JustWin]

But, you can take a step toward erasing that dreadful "here we go again" feeling that came from the crushing Orange Bowl loss to Stanford. (Can we please ban the orange helmets??) All it takes to set things back on the right track is a little (er, or a lot of) tailgating in Blacksburg this weekend! (Can I get an amen!!) VT is concluding its spring football practice with the annual Maroon and White game, at 2pm on Saturday. And you know the Gurus will be there, in full effect...Holla!

We've said good-bye to a lot of great Hokie players – Tyrod Taylor, Darren Evans, Ryan Williams, John Graves and others – but that just means we’ve got room for the new guys we’ll come to love watching in the Maroon and Orange.

Not to mention all of the coaching changes that took place this offseason. The Beam’s been busy!! But, I like it. It's a new chapter in VT football. New Coaches; new QB; new energy and new blood. Same Goal. Championships. Period.

SO. If you REALLY need an excuse to come hang out with friends and tailgate in Blacksburg (who ARE you people??), say you need to come check out the newbies and the old favorites. If that doesn’t get you, how’s about Good Times with good friends, food, and tunes?

Not to mention, is it completely inappropriate that I cannot wait to be where it is socially acceptable to drink beer at 9am??? I LOVE TAILGATES!

We’ll be there and you KNOW you want to join! You don’t want to be that person everyone talks about because they didn’t show up. (Because we totally do that shizz.) Peer pressure. Ain't it the greatest??

The Plan has been put into motion. Gonna get there early so we can tailgate in the Big Boy (read: Mondo Contributor) lot and be close to the awesome bathrooms. Come on by and join the party!

Go Hokies!! Thanks for giving us a reason to tailgate!! (And, something to tide me over until September!)